can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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