He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
