beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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