Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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