I murdered the dance floor call the cops
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
