He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
