if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
