Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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