No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize