Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
