He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize