It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
