at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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