That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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