when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
