Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
