I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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