If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
