We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
