Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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