Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
