HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
