so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
