is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
