I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
