May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
