we're blogging at a bar
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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