clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
