Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
