So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize