I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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