I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
