shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
