My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
