i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
