Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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