i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
