i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
