Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
