tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
