My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Houston, we have a squirter
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
