'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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