ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
soo... how was my night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
