; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
