I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
