if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
