we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
