Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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