If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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