If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
