just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
