dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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