He is such a slut. More and more my type.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
