And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize