1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
