life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
