Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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