margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
