Non-Jews are for practice
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
