I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
