my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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