Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
