How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
