epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
