dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
