ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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